Keeping it active

This week I got some SERIOUS activity in and loved every minute! I lost .6 this week, but my major achievement was in getting a record 62 activity points!  That is the most I have gotten EVER! I went hiking in the Catskills and here on Long Island, I also completed a set of 4 kickboxing classes. I am killing the activity and feeling GREAT! I gotta write more about all the hiking, it was AMAZING! Get out there and get active, try new things you never know what may spark an interest! Stay tuned since next week I am doing my second 5k and I am setting a goal to do a 14 minute mile.

Sometimes Failure is Success in Disguise

So this past week was my birthday. Yes this is an obstacle all by itself, even with the planning for my party: buying low fat hot dogs, light buns, making salads with fat free greek yogurt for dressings, eating only one of each item and trying to balance it with lots of exercise. I STILL went up and significantly! So I was upset for a while that day. I want you to see it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. I ate a lot at my parents house, but not so much at the party. What I think did me in was the drinks! Jello shots, punch with vodka, beer, wine. It was a party and a damn good one! So am I gonna beat myself up? Sure for a couple hours, but then I refocus and I know even though I went up in weight I would not take back the good times I had. That is why it's so important to realize this is your life. It will be a struggle and you should expect to fall, but you just get right back up. I'm in it to win it and I'm here for the long haul.

I have said a lot of time that this is a journey and you need to enjoy that journey.  If it's about the destination you are gonna hate every minute. So should I view this gain as a failure?  I used to, but now I see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. I also look at all the things I had done right and now dwell on the scale. The way I see it, this is a success! I planned and made decisions I never would have before!  I bought the light buns and hot dogs and made my salads fat free- I never would have done that before.  A change in behavior is actually better than a change on the scale. It's through every little change in our behavior we build our way to living that healthy lifestyle.

So always keep in mind: Sometimes failure is success in disguise!

More Progress!

I had my weigh in today and lost 2.6 pounds for a total of 57.2 pounds! YES! I am sooooo damn excited, never thought I would come this far!  It is the most amazing feeling, I know if I can do this, I really can do anything I set my mind to!

Just a few weeks ago I was struggling with a plateau up and down the same 1-2 pounds. I am in this for the long haul and I am committed, but the same enthusiasm wasn't there. I hit a wall. I confronted the situation head on and talked to my WW leader. If I did not so this I would not have been able to get past this wall. While sometimes this problem can be physical, for me it was mental. 

I realized I was afraid to lose the weight. Frightened of the unknown, my life being thin.  You would think this is a welcome change, but for me my bodily transformation had not caught up with my psychological transformation.

When you lose weight, people's perception and reactions to you change. I was already getting more attention and it was making me uncomfortable. I started to question myself, am I ready for this? What if all of a sudden men are hitting on me? I'm married to a great guy and this point especially bothered me. So next I spoke directly with my husband about this fears and he comforted me and gave me some great advice. While there may be other men that hit on me, they will never be able to compete with our bond. All we have been through together and all of our shared interests, also knowing I was loved just as much 57.2 pounds heavier.

With this baggage released I was ready to continue with my weight loss journey. Now you can see the effect your own mind can have on you!  Good or bad! Plus as seen in my previous post, I went wine tasting and out to eat twice and STILL lost the weight!  Indulgence  in moderation can lead to success!

Enjoying the Journey

Losing weight is a lifestyle change, not a diet.  People ALWAYS say this, but I didn't get it until I starting living it. Yes you cannot eat the way you have been, obviously this has not turned out well, but this journey never ends. So if you are going on a lifelong journey, you MUST enjoy the ride! While before joining WW I would drink and eat and not monitor it at all. Now I reserve wine or cocktails for once a week or every couple of weeks. I will also make better decisions for lunch, if I know I will be doing out wine tasting or for cocktails. All things in moderation! I live life to the fullest and I am not perfect (I didn't track anything that day) but I made better choices for food and I would have NEVER done that 1.5 years ago! These small behavior changes occur slowly and as time goes on, you won't even remember how you used to eat!

The moral to the story: you must indulge from time to time, this is a long journey and if you don't enjoy it you won't keep it up! Salute!  

What is your fitness personality?

We all know exercise is good, we all know we really have to do it.  We hear of all the benefits and all we think is, "Seriously, I have to add one more thing to my daily to do list??" So to be "good" I gotta get to the gym, run on the treadmill, do some reps with weights and HATE every minute.

NOOOO! You don't have to do that to exercise! If you are moving you are exercising!

Here are some ideas

 You gotta clean the house, okay turn up the music and get crazy with your chores.  You can kill 2 birds with one stone!
You have a dog, why not take them for a nice long walk?
You like the beauty of the outdoors? Why not try hiking? (My personal favorite!)
Got some extra aggression, feel angry? Try our some kick boxing classes, or get a heavy bag for home.
Like to dance? Have your own dance party at home and turn up the volume!  Maybe try Zumba, so much fun!
You used to play a sport?  Why not rekindle that old passion.

Be the person you want to be! The person you know you are.  Is that person sitting around on the couch watching TV like 4 hours a night?  Didn't think so...

A little about myself...

Before

After

After

Before

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who am I and why have I titled this blog DesignMe? 

Many people struggle with their weight. I am one of them and I have been overweight almost my entire life. I think I started gaining weight at 10 and just became heavier and heavier over the years. I am 30 now and I have finally transformed myself inside and out, as well as my relationship with food. I am down 55 pounds and have maybe another 50 or 60 to go. 

My Story

When people say change begins within....I never REALLY thought about it. But change really does start inside yourself, your very being, that inner voice that speaks to you. This realization hit me like a tons of bricks and brought me to my turning point, more on that later.

I knew I needed change. I joined Weight Watchers at work at 29 and I did not have faith this was going to work at all. But I had to try. I felt like my life was coming together.  I had a decent job, had some great friends, a amazing husband and I was going to buy a home. So I wanted to tackle the 265 pound elephant in the room...my body. 

Let's start at the beginning: the weight started creeping up at the age of 10. As a kid I also suffered from low self esteem: the weight was either a product of low self esteem of the self esteem caused the weight. Growing up there was also a lack of nutritional awareness: my family was not financially stable so often entertainment and comfort were provided with food. (I will not blame my parents though, they were only doing what they thought was best and ultimately I made the decision to eat everything.) So I was heavy all through middle school, high school and college. It sucked: plain and simple. In middle school I was bullied, in high school I was the butt of jokes and in college I was the girl without the boyfriend that felt sorry for herself all too often. I was not the person I wanted to be, the person I really was inside. Luckily things started to turn around when I met my husband, he fell in love with who I am inside: looking past the weight to see the beauty and the fire inside of me. I finally felt true love and acceptance. Once we were on our feet financially and I had so many awesome friends around me, I knew it was time to start working on my weight.

So this is the point I sign up for Weight Watchers, the second time. The first few weeks are terrible, I am going up in weight.  Who goes up in the first few weeks??! I thought to myself I am trying sooo hard, how can this happen?!  I was getting so frustrated that I was an emotional wreck crying after weigh ins. This is the moment in the past where I would hide in the back of the room and keep doing what I was doing expecting different results. Yes, I know this is the definition of insanity but we all do it. 

My Turning Point

I realized doing what I did in the past did not work, so I did the opposite. I sought advice from those that have achieved weight loss success.  First I spoke to a friend of mine and I really listened....not heard what she said and not take the advice or immediately dismiss it. I listened and she had some great advice. She had been reading a lot of fitness and self help books- she is very wise and always has good advice...this is what I got out of it and this was my turning point.

1. Everything stems from "I am not good enough" 
2. Stop the black and white thinking (the all or nothing mentality)!  
3. Stop seeking perfection, it does not exist.  

1- Everything stems from "I am not good enough"  I FINALLY came to realize I was constantly telling myself I was not good enough. This is tied to number 3 for me since I was always a perfectionist and still am in some ways. I was not worth it, I did not deserve to lose weight, I was not good enough.  I finally acknowledged the hateful voice in my head and instead I started being my own best friend.

2- Stop the black and white thinking (the all or nothing mentality)! If you eat a doughnut you are bad, if you eat salad you are good. Life is lived in grayscale...I am a very black and white person so this is huge. You are not good or bad... black and white...grayscale is where you are in the middle you are balanced.  You decide to have a doughnut so skip the steak at dinner. If you wanna eat that doughnut but still have the steak...have a couple bites so you lose that impulse. I found my center, I found a balance.

3- Stop seeking perfection it does not exist. Seriously!  There is no such thing, there is only comparing yourself to other people. You can't do it, what works for them may not work for you and they could just have good genetics. You are not gonna be a nutritious eater overnight and you cannot eat healthy 24/7.  Life happens! As long as you are persistent you will reach your goal.  

So the first thing I did I was replace the negative inner voice with what my best friend would tell me. This took some serious practice, but eventually became habit. This was my turning point! That week I saw I loss on the scale and it continued. While there were bumps in the road, I stayed the course. 

Then I sought the advice of my WW leader. They are an invaluable resource...trust them not yourself when it comes to weight loss. I cannot stress this enough! They have actually been successful, so it only makes sense to trust in their advice and put it to action! I took screen shots of my tracker and showed her all the food I ate. She gave me personalized advice on what she could see that could use improvement.  I trusted in her and it lead me to success.

Some other points I learned along the way:

1. Be your own best friend- Turn the mean voice into what your best friend would say to you.
2. Self Forgiveness is key- the most successful people in the world are successful because they don't beat themselves up if they make a mistake. Take this example of Thomas Edison's quest to to create an incandescent light bulb:   

"Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb.

1. Persistence NOT perfection will get you to your goal- This applies to weight loss and anything else in life. Now you start to see why any change starts from within. Be the change and embrace it.  Don't expect perfection, but most importantly NEVER give up. You can also get this from the Edison example above.

What is my hope for this blog?

I want above all to help others.  It has always been in my nature and I really enjoy helping others since this is something I am so passionate about! I want to lead by example and show my continued journey and struggles.  What I have shared above is what I learned that lead to another thousand small changes in behavior.  This blog is continuos and so is this journey.  Even at my goal, the struggles and the journey does not end. But life in itself is a journey and you should enjoy the ride.  While it is difficult for me to write about my past, I hope it will inspire others to see you CAN do it!  If you can conceive it you can achieve it!